l thought he was my air, it might soud corny but l never thought l could love anyone like l loved him. l am now confused and do not know what l feel!! he has hurt me so bad in the past gambling our savings away (it was an illness) he says it was not him it was an adiction and l forgave him 3 times. But what hurt the most is the lies the deseat, always looking over my shoulders that another bad thing will happen. He lied about so many things, never put me first. This is our second marriage, 2 kids each =4 but grown up except for his daughter aged 14.

We both love them to bits, he works away he has changed l gave up everything to follow his dream jobclimbing up the ladder fast but always away. He has changed so much does not say he misses me does not wanna make love when he comes home he is away more than he is home. In 14 years we may have spent 5 years together but he says this is what the job demands. l feel cheated, hurt, and made to feel like it has all been for nothing.

He hasnt gambled for at least 5 years but he wont stop chasing the money he lost by working .... l have forgiven him many years ago but he hasnt forgiven him self and in the mean time forgotten about me and my feeling becasue he is never home.

l asked for a divorce but he wo not accept it and convinced me to let him come home so he can prove to me that he does love me. So l did but he is the same has not done anything to prove it to me l feel numb what should l do. We are in marriage councelling and l am seeing a councellor privately as well because my self assteam is 0% but working on it he has stripped me of any good feelings l had..

l think if you read over what you just wrote you know the answer yourself honey